What am I looking for?

This is one of the first questions people usually ask me when they message me, so I though it would be a good idea to answer this question. What am I looking for?

Well, first of all I'm looking to explore the world of BDSM and kinks. I've read a lot about it, and I own some toys (dildo's, buttplug, vibrator, anal beads), but I don't have any experience yet with real life BDSM.
This means I am looking for someone to take me under his wings and train and guide me, to teach me and to nurture me. Someone with patience (since I'm a beginner), someone who I can trust (because when your first experience is a bad experience you're unlikely to try it again). But most important someone I feel comfortable with.

I get so many messages from guys who want to meet this week, like they're afraid they won't catch their train if we don't meet this week. They don't realize that trust is something that takes time to built up, and there are a lot of scary people out there that would gladly take advantage of things, especially someone looking like I do.

And the second thing that's important, is the match. This works on two levels. Do we have things in common regarding our fetishes, and secondly do we match with our personalities.
Sometimes I get messages from people of whom I wonder why they would ever think I would be interested in them. Their kinks don't match at all with mine, and they seem to be completely blind to that fact. They think that just because I'm into kinky things, and just because I'm submissive, I will automatically like the things they do.

Matching personalities is more difficult to explain. Sometimes you meet people with whom you have a great match in terms of kinks, but the personalities just don't match. It's hard to explain, but some people you just like from the start, and some people you just don't.
Even when simply messaging you can already begin to notice this. The way they write their messages, the way they talk, or sometimes don't talk. I always have a very simple rule when it comes to messaging: if you don't answer me, I don't answer you. Sometimes people message you, you have a nice chat, and then they never talk to you anymore. As if I should magically begin to talk with them, while they were the ones that showed an interest in me.
If you're really interested in me, than take time to get to know me, and take time to built up a relationship. If you can't even keep a single chat going for more than one day, than how are you supposed to keep any BDSM relationship going longer than for 1 minute?

And then there are of course the kinks themselves. Because let's say you want to spend time to get to know me, you want to guide me, gain my trust, we have a good match regarding our personalities, in the end this is a BDSM site. So what am I looking for in terms of BDSM?
Well, I don't have a 5 year plan. But what I would like is to meet someone here, chat for a while here, perhaps move onto e-mail later so we can turn things more personal. And if things go good for a couple of days, we have a good match in terms of our kinks, personalities and ideas about how to execute those, than we can begin by talking about meeting each other.

Call me old fashioned, but I like to know what I'm getting into. I don't want to randomly meet a person I've never met before, without knowing what his intentions are or his plan is. I want to know what I can expect. Give me an idea of how our first meeting should look like, and how you see things moving on from there.
I have no trouble to do some small assignments on the first date if the connection in real life is just as great as it is online, but don't expect me to jump into the dungeon with you on the first date.
What I've mostly noticed with men on this website is that they either move too slow, like we're on a vanilla dating website, or moving to fast, like we're on a BDSM speed dating site. You have to adjust your speed and progression based upon your (possible) partner. If things move too slow, you'll bore them. If you move too fast people won't take you serious and think you're a faker, or people get scared because they'll think you're some homicidal maniac.

But let's say you get all those things right, what could thins develop into?
Well, first of all I'm not looking to jump straight away into a 24/7 TPE relationship, I first want to build things up slowly. I won't say that I don't secretly have desires to one day be in a 24/7 TPE relationship, but since I'm a beginner that step is just too big to take right now, and I just want to find out if the things that turn me on in my fantasies are also things that turn me on in real life.
See it like breaking in a virgin. You also won't go DP her in all her holes the first time. You first have to reach first base before you can make the home run. So I want to build things up slowly. Teach me how to be a proper slut, and potential future slave.

And if you're wondering what I want to be, what I want to become. Well, I want someone that both embraces, but also tempers my inner slut. Someone that encourages, even dares me to be sluttier than my wildest imagination, but only when he approves it.
I want someone that takes control over my pussy. Someone that teaches me patience and hard work before a massive release. Someone that teaches me how to be HIS slut, and not just a random slut that fucks everyone and everything around her.

I want someone that keeps me on the edge of my orgasm, but teaches me that only if I obey him correctly, he might give me my release. Someone that loves to tease me, takes advantage of my arousal, but not allowing me to reach my climax unless he desires me to. Someone that takes pleasure in seeing me struggle to control myself and my state of horniness.
But also someone that once he let's me have my release, challenges me to be sluttier than I ever though I would be. Teaching me the meaning of deserving an orgasm, rather than just taking it. Someone that teaches me that my orgasm is not a pleasure just for me, but a pleasure I should earn for good behavior.

I once read a fantasy a long while ago, which triggered something in my mind about this. It was about a girl who was in orgasm control by her Master. He would constantly tease her, challenge her and raise her arousal. But if she would orgasm, she would not be allowed to cum for 6 months. If she however would restrain herself from having an orgasm, he promised her to give her a release after a week, and she would be promoted from sub to his slave, as she would have proved to him that she was willing to give up her pleasure for his.
Raising the difficulty throughout the week, making it more and more difficult for her not to orgasm, he challenged her, until the point she almost couldn't take it anymore. And than, on the last and final day, he took her somewhere public to eat. She thought this was just going to be something they would do before her final release.
But than of course he revealed that now she could have her orgasm, right than and there, in the midst of a public place with people around. If she would do that for him, she would have proved that not only could she restrain herself from personal pleasure for his pleasure, but also that could follow his orders faithfully when he desired, as well as exposing herself what she really was: a needy slut in need of control. If she wouldn't do it, she would have failed him, and she wouldn't be allowed an orgasm in 6 months, before trying it again.
Obviously the thought of making herself orgasm in public scared her, to expose herself that much out in public, on the other hand she had been withholding her orgasm for so long that she was aching for it. But most importantly, she didn't want to disappoint her Master, and finally masturbated in public to a massive orgasm.

I hope this tells you something more about what I want and what I'm looking for. Use it in your advantage, and get yourself inspired, and please: be original!